ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND- Part 1

This series, 'Encounters of the third kind' is dedicated to memorable encounters with people, both good and bad, that have left a mark on my memory!!!

As we know that the police is someone you would approach in times of distress and also makes you feel safe when in danger. However i have had some contradictory experiences one of which i have shared here. (I have deliberately left out details on the branch, names etc).

A couple of years back I lost my mobile phone. My bad. With all my work and family pictures and lots of personal information stored inside, I panicked. I thought maybe reporting it with police may help with some chance of finding it back as one of the friends I know had been successful locating it with the help of the police. Also i needed an FIR to apply for a duplicate SIM.
 So I walked in to the nearby police station to file a report. Confidently. As soon as I reached I realized I made a huge mistake visiting this place. I was directed to a room on the first floor with two tables and a smaller room connecting it. One pot bellied mustached police man sat on one table and another similar looking stood nearby. They were questioning an old guy reeking of alcohol, seated on the floor with hands folded and sobbing, "saar manichiringu saar!".
As I entered they asked my business. I said I was there to report my missing phone. The police man looked at each other and exchanged an amused look and the seated guy pointed me to a bench asking me to wait. I sat feeling little uncomfortable. I looked around at the room. Cobwebs everywhere on the ceiling. There were these huge cartons of old monk and some other such brands kept om the loft, consisting of old files i suppose. I mentally counted around 6 or so. I mean like cartons of alcohol bottles? Seriously? In a police station? Are they allowed to drink in a police station? Isn't that their work place? Don't work places have rules? Or maybe rules don't apply to government work places? A creepy feeling crept up my spine as I realized the men to women ratio in the room was 3:1.
They were questioning the old man who was still sobbing and narrating some story explaining what led him to create the mob activity that he was held for. In my mind I knew it must have been the alcohol that caused it.
My attention was drawn to a third police man pacing up an down the corridor staring at me.This was the moment I wished I could have ran out of this creepy place. I looked down at myself to see if I was decently clothed and if a burkha might have been the appropriate dress code to this place.I realized I was dressed modestly enough in a decent black salwar kameez with full sleeves and high neck with a dupatta draped over and I realized that it was not me, but this perverted man's eyes would have penetrated and bored deep through any type of woman's clothing even if she was wearing an iron suit. Some men just have that x-ray vision, you know.
I wondered that if a woman felt so unsafe and vulnerable in the presence of men who are legally endowed to protect you, then there is no place I would feel safe. Nevertheless, I put up a brave face with a "don't mess with me" expression and stared the angriest stare at the policeman outside. I think he understood that I didn't like what he was doing and walked away.
So my turn comes and the seated police guy points at the chair in front of him. Asks me the matter. I realized that English speaking wouldn't be appropriate here and in my most confident Tamil I explained the whole scene to him. He and the other guy exchanged chuckling glances hearing me talk but I ignored and went on with my monologue as he took notes. After I was done, I asked him what were my chances of finding my lost mobile. "None", he said. I just looked at him in dismay for sitting there for so long wasting my time. He went on to say how people lose mobile phones everyday and till now my SIM would have till now been tossed into a gutter, and the mobile sold to some shop who would have restored the factory settings and in turn sold it to someone else. And frankly, they have better work and more important pending cases than looking for lost mobiles. "Still we will try our best Madam, but don't be too hopeful". Point noted.
 I said a polite thank you and left also leaving behind any hope of finding my lost mobile. I could have sworn they mocked me after i had left, as I saw that third policeman join them too. I walked away as fast as i could promising myself to be the best citizen ever so that I never have to encounter being in a police station again!

Things you should never say to your event/wedding planner

As much as people think that event management is a glitzy, glamorous and rich industry to work in, little do they know about the amount of hard work, odd hours, stress and the most difficult clients that we have to deal with.
Here are some things that can make us roll our eyes or gape in stupefaction at our clients.

1.       We want it to be the best event ever but we don’t have a big budget- 

 Don’t we hear this from every other client! Very few understand what they are paying for. Everything comes with a price and if you’re looking for exclusivity, then you should be ready to spend for it!!!

2.       It should be simple, yet classy, elegant, sophisticated and something different! – 

 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! That’s too many adjectives rolled into one brief.  Decide how you want your event to reach across to your guests. It can either be simple and down to earth, or over the top and sophisticated. Off course we try our best to balance all these but it’s not easy!

3.       So the photography is inclusive of the decorations, right? - 

  Off course not, unless it’s mentioned so in your quote. Events involve co coordinating with various professions and industries and each has its own charges and specifications. Photography in itself is a profession involving loads of creativity, talent and expensive equipments. Do not end up assuming that all is covered unless you have particularly asked for it.

4.       Will the emcee bring the mike along? - 

 No, the emcee is not going to carry their own mike and speakers to talk into. That would be the sounds and lights department!

5.       So do you have free passes to the next big show in town? or Can you get me a discount at so and so restaurant?- 

 Contrary to popular belief, we don’t receive free passes to every other event in town! And no we don’t get free food and discounts at hotels and restaurants either!

6.       Event manager, aye? You must be partying all the time! - 

 As fun as it may look, party is work for us. Work that involves coordinating with clients, planning for days, dealing with laid back workers, meeting deadlines, standing for hours at the venue executing and supervising things, odd hours of work, stress,etc. At the end of the day you always feel that you are underpaid!

7.       Can you do my event for free; it’s just a small get together. Also I will be inviting you for it. - 

 Either call me as a guest or hire me as a planner. Just because I am attending your event doesn’t mean I will do it for free. It’s not fair to ask!

8.       Hi I have my wedding coming up. I am not sure I can afford a planner. Can you give me some themes and ideas on how to go about it? - 

 Hello!! Ideas, theme, and concepts are what we sell. You just can’t ask us for it and not pay! It’s like asking for the recipe from a chef for his signature dish!

9.       I can’t decide which theme I like. Can we do a combination of all three? - 

 Please let us handle the creative side and try not to make a collage of your pinterest ideas. At the end of the day, how the event was presented will reflect on our company image.

10.   We’re financially tight now, can you pay the vendors, we’ll pay you later- 

 So you decided to have a good time at our expense, huh?!

11.   The guests are getting bored. Is there something you can do? - 

 If you have not planned for the entertainment in your party, you can’t expect the event manager to break into a song/ dance or double up as a stand up comedian!

12.   Why this customized crystal table decor is so expensive, I thought handmade was cheaper?

 You want it customised as per your specification isn’t it? If you don’t prefer the run of the mill set ups available in the market, then you should be ready to pay for that type of exclusivity and creativity.

13.   Can you help me with my event? I was going to do it myself but I don’t think I can now as its just one day away!- 

 Hmm, what I can say on how many such clients we have patronised!

14.   Yes the event went perfectly well, thank you! Can you reduce your rate and give us some discount?-  

 Haggling after the event is over and everything is delivered as promised- definitely not done!

Fifteen things I never expected in my mid thirties! (a cynical view)

This is an age when we women think we have completely discovered ourselves, mentally relaxed, are more in control of things like career/ family life and think life begins now! But what do you know. Here are some things you had never foreseen!

1. KIDS NEVER GROW UP!- If you married and had kids early, and you’re thinking that they’ve grown up and now will be less dependent on you, then you’re wrong. They will remain the centre of your existence no matter how big they grow. You will find yourself always talking about your children with everyone every time! quite boring for others, yes. Single women will try to fill this maternal void with dogs and other pets.

2. Am i aging gracefully?-  Remember those fine lines that you always saw in those age defying product ads? Well, they’re for real. You’ll get them sooner or later. You end up reading more about Botox, liposuction, chemical peeling, tummy tucks, breast enhancements, etc more so now than ever! Whether you will ever get it done is a different story altogether.

3. Bone trouble-  You will realise you have more joints in your body than you know. They will produce sound effects at every friction. 

4. 50 shades of grey, and more-   You will frequent the beauty parlour more than before to hide those latest shades of grey. Stepping out without make up would probably be a brave attempt for you.

5. Push it up-  You will finally realise what was the “Secret” Victoria had been hiding all along. Yes, you will need that extra support now!

6. Pumps in the dumps-   Heels may be one other thing you may be forced to give up on! Stilettos will only end up giving you “still toes” and numb, painful feet! However, body sculpting shape wears are something you will want to invest in.

7.  No money, honey-   No matter how much you’re earning, it will never be enough!! You will always find yourself not having enough for a vacation or desiring something that’s out of your financial ability. Greed, you see, also increases with age!

8. No more "party all night"!-   Titles like ‘Party Animal’ and ‘Night Owl’ will no more feel coveted! Hangover of a party will seem to last forever now and attending social gatherings will leave you drained.

9. Aunty mat kaho na!!!-  You will think twice about venturing out to hangouts like discos and pubs where there are crowds younger than you. You won’t like their music or will feel out of place. And don’t be surprised if someone addresses you as Aunty there!

10. Mind your language-   Stick to the lingo you learnt growing up. Words with spellings like YO WASSUP, AWWW, EEEWWW, AAWWESOMMEE, SOO KOOOL, GAWD and CHILLAX DUDE somehow don’t suit you. You are from the time when these were considered spelling mistakes in school and will be frowned upon by your peers. They will think you are “not acting your age”.

11. Lost my freedom-You will find yourself envying your single friends and their independence as they post pictures of their ever-so- happening- single-and-ready-to-mingle-lives on the social media. If it’s any consolation, please read point number 11.

12. Ms. Forever alone?!!-   Haven’t found Mr.Right yet? Well, sorry to say that it’s going to take you an eternity now. All good guys were already taken when you were twenty five!!

13. I will exercise from tomorrow- You will come across new health threats like decreased metabolism, thyroid, PCOD, heart disease , type 2 diabetes, hyper tension and will start worrying about it, even think of getting into a fitness regime. But that will never happen because you are already stuck in a regime of either a family life with kids or a work life with boss which you will never be able to break!

14.  Just count till Ten-  Tempers become more difficult to control and you would find yourself mentally stabbing annoying people in your head, because murder, is a crime! The friends you liked and gelled with all along have now gone different ways and all you are left with is relatives/colleagues/in laws/neighbors/bosses/workers, none of whom you chose willingly to be a part of your life!!!

15. Am I getting Alzheimer's already?!!-   Memory will start failing you. Names of people you recently met, number of clothes you gave to the laundry guy, remembering to pay your bills on time, safe places where you kept your important stuff, will slowly become difficult to keep track of! The ability to multi-task that you keep priding yourself on, well, that won’t last long either!

As scary as they may sound, the thirties is one time you won’t get to revisit just like your teens and your twenties!!! So in spite the odds, just live it up and make each day count!

(And in case you don’t relate to any of the above, just be assured that age hasn't touched you yet. NOT YET!!)